Brutally Honest & Funny Birthday Cards
Funny Birthday Cards That Land Every Time - UK’s Best Banter Cards
You could buy a boring birthday card elsewhere… or send one they won’t forget, ours actually land.
Perfect for roasting your mates, winding up your partner, or shocking your mum just enough to make her laugh - but not enough to get written out of the will. And for those, let’s say, more ‘delicate’ occasions? We've got cards for that too.
Our Best Greeting Card Collections – Funny, Brutally Honest & Rude
Handpicked for legends who love a proper laugh. From Funny Birthday Cards that get a reaction to Brutally Honest roasts that tell it straight, and Rude & NSFW Birthday Cards (strictly 18+ banter). These are our favourites.
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Funny Birthday Cards
View All Funny Birthday CardsIf they wanted sentimental, they wouldn’t be mates with you. Go for laughs and proper birthday banter.
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Brutally Honest Greeting Cards
View All Brutally Honest CardsNo fluff, no filter, just straight-up truth - If they can’t handle it, that’s a them problem.
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Rude & NSFW Birthday Cards
View All Rude & NSFW Birthday CardsStrictly 18+! Wild and unfiltered. If your nan faints easily, maybe skip this one.
The Cards We Actually Can’t Stop Laughing About – Best Cards
Only the best for you. These are the cards our customers can’t get enough of because they’re funny, honest, and just the right amount of naughty.
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Happy Birthday You Magnificent B***H Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
I Heard You Love A Bit Of Sausage Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
My Favourite Human Bean Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
I don't need ChatGPT My Boyfriend Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
Get Well Soon Attention Seeking Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
Congratulations On Your Divorce Yay Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per -
Carry On Partying Card
Regular price £2.75Regular priceUnit price / per
Why Choose Us
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Free Delivery
We ship your order as fast as we can – typically the morning after you order! Free delivery on orders over £35.
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All made by us
Designed, crafted, and shipped in Birmingham, UK – our legendary greeting cards spark the best moments!
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Family Run
We're a small family-run business. Every brutally honest, funny birthday card is made with plenty of heart!
Our Story
Because lifes too short to be ducking bland...

We started out just having a bit of a laugh – making cards and little gifts for our friends and family. We wanted to create something honest and fun that people could relate to. At Roast and Roses, we make UK greeting cards that are brutally honest, funny, and sometimes just a bit rude for a laugh – exactly how we like our humour.
We knew people weren’t looking for fancy, over-the-top cards with someone else’s sentimental thoughts inside. They wanted something that felt like it was made just for them—a card that speaks their mind and cuts through the fluff. That’s why we built Roast and Roses – because we get it.
Everything’s handmade by us in Birmingham, UK, and printed on premium 300gsm cardstock (we believe a card should feel as strong as the message inside). We’re here to help you say it like it is, with cards that bring the laughs, the roasts, and a bit of cheek, making celebrations unforgettable for the right reasons. And it all starts with a card, so go on, make someone’s day!



