Brutally Honest & Funny Birthday Cards
Perfect for roasting your mates, winding up your partner, or shocking your mum just enough to make her laugh - but not enough to get written out of the will. And for those, let’s say, more ‘delicate’ occasions? We've got cards for that too.
The Cards We Actually Can’t Stop Laughing About – Best Cards
Only the best for you. These are the cards our customers can’t get enough of because they’re funny, honest, and just the right amount of naughty.
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Cheeky Card - We Go Together Like Drunk & Disorderly
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Funny Birthday Card - Happy Birthday You Magnificent Bitch!
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Funny Birthday Card - Happy Birthday Bitch
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Funny Birthday Card - From Jizz to Fabulous
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Cheeky Love Card - Titanic Jokes with a Twist
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Funny Generic Card - Absolute Headache, Still My Favourite
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Funny Birthday Card - Not Getting Younger, But Alive!
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Funny Birthday Card - I Got You A Card Again!
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Our Best Greeting Card Collections – Funny, Brutally Honest & Rude
Handpicked for legends who love a proper laugh. From Funny Birthday Cards that get a reaction to Brutally Honest roasts that tell it straight, and Rude & NSFW Birthday Cards (strictly 18+ banter). These are our favourites.
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Funny Birthday Cards
View All Funny Birthday CardsIf they wanted sentimental, they wouldn’t be mates with you. Go for laughs and proper birthday banter.
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Brutally Honest Greeting Cards
View All Brutally Honest CardsNo fluff, no filter, just straight-up truth - If they can’t handle it, that’s a them problem.
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Rude & NSFW Birthday Cards
View All Rude & NSFW Birthday CardsStrictly 18+! Wild and unfiltered. If your nan faints easily, maybe skip this one.
Cards for every type of chaos
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Brutally Honest Greeting Cards
Sometimes, you’ve got to say it like it is. Our Brutally Honest...
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Farewell & Good Luck Cards
Goodbyes don’t have to be gloomy. Our Farewell & Good Luck Cards...
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Funny Birthday Cards
Discover Our Cheeky Collection Forget the dull, generic birthday cards. Our Funny...
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Get Well Soon Cards
When someone’s feeling down, a little laughter can be the best pick-me-up....
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Heartfelt & Graceful Cards
Sometimes, only a card that goes straight to the heart will do....
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Rude & NSFW Birthday Cards
18+ Only. Unfiltered Banter for Birthdays Subtlety isn’t an option, we don’t...
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Thank You & Appreciation Cards
Sometimes, a simple “thank you” doesn’t quite cut it. Our Thank You...
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Valentine's Day Cards
We’re on a mission to make Valentine’s Day anything but predictable. Our...
Why Choose Us
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Free Delivery
We ship your order as fast as we can – typically the morning after you order! Free delivery on orders over £35.
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All made by us
Designed, crafted, and shipped in Birmingham, UK – our legendary greeting cards spark the best moments!
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Family Run
We're a small family-run business. Every brutally honest, funny birthday card is made with plenty of heart!
Our Story
Because lifes too short to be ducking bland...

We started out just having a bit of a laugh – making cards and little gifts for our friends and family. We wanted to create something honest and fun that people could relate to. At Roast and Roses, we make UK greeting cards that are brutally honest, funny, and sometimes just a bit rude for a laugh – exactly how we like our humour.
We knew people weren’t looking for fancy, over-the-top cards with someone else’s sentimental thoughts inside. They wanted something that felt like it was made just for them—a card that speaks their mind and cuts through the fluff. That’s why we built Roast and Roses – because we get it.
Everything’s handmade by us in Birmingham, UK, and printed on premium 300gsm cardstock (we believe a card should feel as strong as the message inside). We’re here to help you say it like it is, with cards that bring the laughs, the roasts, and a bit of cheek, making celebrations unforgettable for the right reasons. And it all starts with a card, so go on, make someone’s day!




Our Blog
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10 Hilarious Birthday Cards That Will Get a Pro...
Team R&RLooking for a birthday card that actually gets a laugh, not a pity smile? These 10 picks skip the syrup for sharp British humour, cheeky lines and brutally honest messages....
10 Hilarious Birthday Cards That Will Get a Pro...
Team R&RLooking for a birthday card that actually gets a laugh, not a pity smile? These 10 picks skip the syrup for sharp British humour, cheeky lines and brutally honest messages....
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Handmade Cards vs Shop-Bought: The Real Deal
Team R&RWhen you are picking a greeting card, it usually boils down to handmade cards or shop-bought options. Here is the short of it. Handmade wins on personalisation and quality. Shop-bought...
Handmade Cards vs Shop-Bought: The Real Deal
Team R&RWhen you are picking a greeting card, it usually boils down to handmade cards or shop-bought options. Here is the short of it. Handmade wins on personalisation and quality. Shop-bought...
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Cheeky Card Messages That Are Sure to Raise a F...
Team R&RBritish humour has taken over the card aisle. Witty, cheeky and a bit sarcastic is the mood, because the soppy stuff is getting left on the shelf. Bold, honest lines...
Cheeky Card Messages That Are Sure to Raise a F...
Team R&RBritish humour has taken over the card aisle. Witty, cheeky and a bit sarcastic is the mood, because the soppy stuff is getting left on the shelf. Bold, honest lines...